Last night's Oscars were mostly fun to watch. I love how Chris Rock et al made a total mockery out of Jada Pinkett-Smith and Spike Lee's little hissy fit. Rock said, inter alia,
"It is an atrocity that Will Smith did not get nominated this year. It is also an atrocity that he got $20 million for Wild, Wild West."
"It's funny how all these unemployed people are asking me to quit my gig. You don't see any employed people asking me to quit my gig."
"Last year, Paul Giamatti was whipping Blacks in 12 Years A Slave. This year, he helped Blacks get a record deal in Straight Outta Compton. If that ain't diversity, I don't know what is."
I also liked the bit when he interviewed Black theatre-goers in Compton and nary a one of them could name one filim with white people and nary a one of them heard of the big name filims nominated this year, one woman replying "I go to the movies a lot and I never heard of these filims. You must be making them up."
Long story short, Jada and Spike's little hissy fit was the running joke of the show.
I was happy The Big Short won Best Adapted Screenplay and miffed that it or The Martian did not get best picture. The Martian, like the novel it is very, very closely based on, is science-fiction with an extremely heavy emphasis on the science aspect much like the Planet of the Apes tv series used to be in many episodes.
I was happy that Amy won Best Documentary-Feature. One of the producers said "It showed Amy for being more than what the tabloids made her out to be." Said producer was correct, only not in the way he thought. Amy, you see, is about the late singer Amy Winehouse. Winehouse was Jewish and she lived on a Council Estate until her music made her famous, a fact which deflates the boyosphere's paranoiac reiteration of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, as does the fact that there are Jewish police officers in the NYPD who make only 25K a year. But, that is not what I meant to say when I said that the producer was correct, only not in the way he thought. What I mean by that bit is that Amy Winehouse was, just like Dick Coughlan and Kevin Logan still are and like Laurie Penney very clearly was, a Council Estate dweller. The details of her demise show that you can always take the ape out of the Council Estate, but you can never take the Council Estate out of the ape, which is why I never take whatever Dick Coughlan, Kevin Logan and Laurie Penney say seriously.
I was not particularly enthused that Spotlight won Best Picture. I did not see Spotlight because the Catholic clergy (the emphasis is important as you shall soon see) scandal has been done to death. See Deliver Us From Evil, Mea Maxima Culpa, Secrets of The Vatican, Suing The Pope, Philomena, and open Septic FC supporter (yes, this description is relevant, as you shall soon see) Peter Mullan's The Magdalene Sisters. This horse has been ridden as far as it will go. Seeing Spotlight is like seeing just another damned documentary on D-Day (hint: the concurrent Operation Bagration on the Eastern Front was much larger and captured/liberated more territory from the Germans in a much shorter space of time.) Seeing Spotlight would be akin to sitting through the recent The World Wars miniseries which focuses on the leaders of WWII--when I had already read about them in a depth the miniseries cannot possibly hope to reach. But this is not just a matter of personal preference.
No, the problem is that all the aforementioned documentaries talk about the Catholic sex abuse scandal as if this was exclusively a matter of priests molesting children. This is not the case. Roman Catholic civilians have also engaged in sex crimes involving minors, but they get a free pass. For example, it is well known--as in at every Old Firm match, Rangers Support openly declare at high volume "Big Jock Knew!"--that Septic FC, a civilian, non-clergy Roman Catholic institution, also engaged in routine paedophilia. You do not see Peter Mullan making a movie about this extremely well known case of serial paedophilia. Do you know why this is? Peter Mullan is an open supporter of Septic FC and a member of a street gang that goes around knifing people in the name of Septic FC. Mullan attacks the clergy because he has no stake in doing so. Mullan remains silent about Torbett and Big Jock because condemning them would show that his Septic FC idols are also complicit in covering up paedophilia. Likewise, you will never see Mullan, or Tom McCarthy or anyone else of the Spotlight crew making a documentary about Sinn Fein/IRA's paedophilia and rapes. That is because Sinn Fein/IRA, like McCarthy and crew, are Roman Catholic civilians (as in non-ordained.) If McCarthy or Mullan made a film about Liam Adams or Martin Morris--as well as Gerry Adams who covered up their sex crimes--they would have to admit that Roman Catholics who are exactly like themselves, without the collar and vestments to allow them to claim distance, are paedophiles and rapists, and McCarthy and Mullan are simply not intellectually honest enough to admit this. As well, McCarthy and Mullan openly exposing Septic FC/Sinn Fein-IRA's paedophilia and rapes would force them to forswear their alliance with Septic FC/Sinn Fein-IRA, which they are loathe to do because they share Septic FC/Sinn Fein-IRA's third wave social justice jihadist worldview.
Do not misunderstand me. What the Vatican did to kids was wrong. My point is that what Septic FC/Sinn Fein-IRA did to kids is equally wrong and that the Brave Sir Robins who jump on the already overloaded bandwagon whinging about the former are weak-kneed hypocrites for remaining silent on the latter. Yes, the Vatican/Septic FC/Sinn Fein-IRA/the SNP are all one and the same, but they have highly distinct public facets. It is one thing for people in the Anglosphere to condemn the Vatican, which is located in Italy. It is another thing for people in the Anglosphere to condemn their friends, neighbours, idols and political allies for doing exactly the same thing the Vatican does.
On a related note, another thing about last night's Oscars I did not care for was VP Biden showing up and advocating snitching in regards to the flavour of the month, the "epidemic" of campus rapes. First of all, politicians should stay the hell out of the private sector, except for things like the National Transport Safety Board, a situation which manifestly has no similarity to the Oscars. Second, what the VP advocated, "Don't be silent when you sex being forced without consent!" is valid and common sense on its face. That is just the point. Biden thinks people do not have common sense enough to do what is right. This is far from the case. Most of the public is tired of war and losing American lives after Iraq and Afghanistan. Biden, on the other hand, wants to start a war with Russia by giving guns to Ukraine, despite the fact that the Ukrainians have entire battalions of Nazis in their army. As to Biden's proposal to launch a massive snitching campaign on campus, unlike General Sir Frank Kitson's pseudo gangs and the late Colonel Ron Reid-Daly's Selous Scouts, North American police do not do "turned terr" operations well. North American police are predominantly oriented around revenue-generating summonses and FUDGESTAT bureaucracies, something that is as true of the RCMP and Canadian municipal police as it is of the NYPD and the Ferguson, MO PD.
North American police, as a whole, think "Special Branch" is something unusual you chop down from a tree, so it is not surprising that their snitches turn out to be paedos or people who murder members of the security forces. It is not an intelligent idea to start a snitching programme to be run by such a bureaucratically-oriented, revenue-generating focused establishment that markets itself as "law enforcement." A far better idea would be to start a US Special Branch force, modeled after 14 Intelligence Company and the Royal Ulster Constabulary's E4A, separate it completely from bureaucratic constraints such as summons-issuing and FUDGESTAT, and then infiltrate undercover officers trained along the lines of Captain Bob Nairac, GC, into campuses where they will be in a position to take direct action on seeing instances of non-consensual sex.
Setting up North American versions of Special Branch, however, is a long term project at best, and its viability is questionable since it would encroach on too many police chiefs/inspectors/captains/lieutenants/sergeants' extremely lucrative summons revenue-generating fiefdoms. Another, far more easily applicable solution towards combating, not only campus rape, but all rape is to do what I proposed in this entry and abolish FUDGESTAT. If Biden had declared last night "Let us fight sexual assault! Urge your mayor and police commissioner to ABOLISH FUDGESTAT NOW!", police across the country would be far more inclined to take rape reports and follow up the reports with investigations that are almost up to the level of the RUC's E4A, which is the best level of performance one can expect from the distinctly non-RUC, non-BSAP, non-Koevoet, non-Royal Hungarian Gendarmerie North American police forces. Alas, "ABOLISH FUDGESTAT NOW!" is, to quote Milo Yiannopoulos, "a subtlety too far" for Biden who, in all honesty, it must be said, took time off from screaming for war with Russia--in complete contrast to the much wiser Bismarck's Reinsurance Treaty and in complete violation of the Farewell Address--to show up at the Oscars in person. As it is, Biden's half-witted idea will only lead to more Emma Sulkowiczen and Sabrina Rubin Erdelys.
Now, onto the parts of last night's Oscars that I really, really liked. I really, really liked the fact that Mad Max: Fury Road beat the boyosphere's most recent object of onanism, The Revenant, for Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing, Best Production Design, Best Makeup And Hairstyling, Best Filim Editing and Best Costume Design, but more about Mad Max: Fury Road in a bit.
I also really, really, really liked the fact that two of The Revenant's Oscars--Best Cinematography and Best Director--went to Mexicans. The irony is superbly delicious and, to quote Milo Yiannopoulos again, "a subtlety too far" for the boyosphere. The boyosphere, you see, wants to build a wall across the Rio Grande to keep Mexicans and other Hispanics out of America. If they had their way, The Revenant's director and cinematographer would have been banned from entering America and the boyosphere's masturbatory material would be restricted to The Matrix (wherein Canoe-nu Reeves traipses about the deck with two LOADED and COCKED revolvers shoved in his waistband, MUZZLES POINTED DIRECTLY AT THE FAMILY JEWELS) and Fight Club (a Whiskey Tangofest copied directly from that other Whiskey Tangofest, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.) Then again, consistency, and, for that matter, just plain ole logic are "a subtlety too far" for the boyosphere. They say "never trust a leftoid"...then proceed to adapt their "functionalist theory" of history directly from known Frankfurt School associate Jürgen Habermas. I bet the boyosphere did not notice when Leo used his Best Actor win for The Revenant to talk about global warming, a topic the boyosphere wants suppressed just as bad as they want the Nineteenth Amendment to the US Constitution suppressed.
So, The Revenant out of the way, where it belongs, back to Mad Max: Fury Road. I found the filim, in and of itself, to be so-so, and not on the level of The Martian or The Big Short. What made Mad Max a must-see, and delicious by association, for me is the fact that it accomplished the amazing feat of pissing both the boyosphere and the third wave social justice jihadists off. The boyosphere shat out Tweets and articles by the barrel-full attacking Mad Max, just as they later did to Star Wars: The Force Awakens...as did the maximum leader of the third wave social justice jihadists.
Seeing, with thoroughly delicious and delightful glee, that both the boyosphere AND the third wave social justice whinged furiously enough to generate twin massive EM pulses over Mad Max: Fury Road, has just plain inspired me. So, ladies and greaseballs, I will shortly present to you The Karza von Karnstein Test For Filim And Television, modeled on, but diametrically opposed to, the Bechdel Test.
The Karza von Karnstein Test For Filim And Television has but one criteria for a filim or TV show to pass it. That filim or TV show must piss off both the boyosphere and the third wave social justice jihadists. That being said, a film or TV show does not necessarily have to be a good filim or TV show to pass the Karza von Karnstein Test For Filim and Television. Let me try to explain why.
I am old. I have seen a lot of filims. My filim likes span the decades and are thus diverse and may appear esoteric to some. To give you an idea, my "favourite filims" list would include, in no particular order (although I will try to be chronological), and not being limited to
the Ace Drummond serials
Practically any Jimmy Stewart filim,
Practically any Randolph Scott filim,
Violent City, (incidentally, Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, John Cassavetes, Randolph Scott, and Chuck Heston had a charm in their badassery that all the subsequent generations of new jacks, from Chuck Norris and Sly Stallone to Canoe-nu Reeves to Jason Staham to Chatum Tanning to Zac Effron all somehow lack. The only young actor who resembles Marvin et al is Rocky Maivia/Dwayne Johnson. Chris Hemsworth comes a close second because of Rush and the Red Dawn reboot, but pisses away his talent in the CGI orgies that are the Avengers filims)
the original Assault on Precinct 13, (which has a charm the Terminator and Rambo filims simply cannot recreate.)
any Claudia Jennings filim,
almost any Barbara Bouchet filim,
the 1993 Stalingrad,
The Lords of Flatbush, (Stallone's best filim, not to mention the best of the 1970's produced and released retro '50's filims and shows, better than Grease and Happy Days, but, while not bad in this department, musically not up to the level of Sha Na Na)
Eli Cross' Corruption,
Eli Cross' Upload,
Ren Savant's The 8th Day,
Stormy Daniels' Wanted,
The Martian, and
The Big Short.
Long story short, my idea of what constitutes a "good filim" is very wide and non-standard. It may not match your idea of what constitutes a "good filim." Also, I am immensely familiar with The Godfather, Scarface and Goodfellas in the exact same way that I am immensely familiar with the smell of feces. These films are widely beloved. I have no love for them. I much prefer Roger Corman's The Saint Valentine's Day Massacre, (which shows that organised crime in America is not monoethnic, but also involves NORAID as well as American Volksdeutsche), Machine Gun McCain, White Line Fever, Milan Calibro 9, Ricco The Mean Machine, and Cry of a Prostitute, the latter three of which have an element Godfather, et al so sorely lack, namely the ever-so-lovely Barbara Bouchet. The latter six filims all have a character, an "oomph," that The Godfather et al, which take themselves waaaaaaaaaaaayyy too seriously, just do not have.
So, the Karza von Karnstein Test For Filim and Television. Like I said, the only criteria for passing is pissing off both the boyosphere and the third wave social justice jihadists.
Pissing the boyosphere off is simple. All you need is a strong female lead.
Pissing the third wave social justice jihadists off can be done in a number of ways. A female lead can be a Ms. Male (a female action star), a fighting fucktoy (a female action star who is sexy/scantilly clad), or a female lead who harbours romantic relations with men (good!) or with women (even better, since men love that even more--which makes third wave social justice jihadists absolutely hate it by default!)
So, filims and shows that pass the Karza von Karnstein Test For Filim and Television thus far:
Arizona (strong female lead, falls in love with a man)
Invasion of the Bee Girls (strong female leads, showing lots of flesh)
Starcrash (strong female lead, scantily clad)
The Andy Sidaris films (strong female leads, fighting fucktoys, scantily clad)
Raze (99% female cast, fighting fucktoys)
Mercenaries (all female leads, Ms. Male characters)
Eli Cross' Corruption and Upload (strong female leads, scantily clad)
Ren Savant's The 8th Day (strong female leads, scantily clad)
Stormy Daniels Wanted (all female leads, scantily clad)
Lost Girl (strong female lead, fighting fuckoty, romances with men and French-kisses women)
Continuum (strong female lead, Ms. Male, falls in love with men)
Bitten (strong female lead, falls in love with men)
Orphan Black (strong female leads, fighting fucktoys, fall in love with men and French-kiss women)
Killjoys (strong female lead, fighting fucktoy, falls in love with a man)
Dark Matter (strong female lead, fighting fucktoy, has sex with a man)
Modern Family (strong female lead, sometimes scantily clad, sometimes depicted as if nude)
Community (strong female leads, fall in love with men)
Now, we know that Sarkeesian/Full McIntosh control Twitter and are doing an Erdogan on it. So, I suggest you write down the twenty-four names above before Sarkeesian/Full McIntosh move on to conquer internet merchant sites so that you will be able to get them some how, some way. Get your hands on them while they last and watch them. It will give you the feeling of being a 2016 version of a Swing Youth.